Friday, 27 April 2012

I'm just having a bad day...(rant)

It was decided what seems a long time ago now that I would stay at home and look after our 1st. It is a decision I sometimes dither over even now though more to do with finances than looking after a child. 
Now of course we have had another and it is a challenge sometimes to complete tasks without taking part in a tea party where plastic cake is thrust upon you and you're expected to chump on merrily or a colouring book waiting to be coloured and read like a storybook (come on woman you're a mother now, you have to master the art of story telling!).
I am the 1st to admit I'm not perfect, the TV is on all day, blaring out various cartoons, I don't always get dressed in the mornings, afternoons and sometimes realise Mr. is due home in 10 mins and I haven't even dressed. I mean I dress the baby, & the tot, though as the tot is potty-training, it mostly consists of a dress to cover her modesty, should someone come round.
I've never been one for everydaybad day housework, back when we flat bound and childless I would clean the whole flat in an afternoon (usually a Sunday), once a week. Now of course I vacuum the sitting room often and not 10 mins later it looks the same, I start washing up only to have to abandon it not halfway through & as for the clothes washing, it's rare it gets hung up to dry soon after the machine is done, unless the items are essential.
I am starting to wonder if I should do it after the babes are tucked up for the night. I know it makes sense, stop battling the babes in order to get 5 mins of essentials done, just need the motivation. More often than not I can be found camping out on the sofa or hopefully here, trying to multitask feeding with keeping up with some form of the outside world (even if it is celebrity gossip). 
I know, I had these babes, I should quit complaining, I just thought I was the exception, that I would manage to do it all & still hold it together. Guess I'm still learning, though I will say I do check my babes before I sleep and I am always grateful that they are there, sound asleep, we got through another day.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Mirena Coil...1 week on

So far, so good, having some slight spotting over last 3 days but not worried. Last day today of taking with mini-pill so will see how I feel next week. The Dr who fitted the coil advised I take the remaining tablets both to cover contraception (even though leaflet says it is effective right away) and to avoid having a period whilst body is adjusting.
In that respect I don't know the full extent as to how the coil is affecting my hormones and thus my moods. I do struggle first thing in the morning no matter how much sleep I get and this is heightened whilst taking the pill. Whilst pregnant with my 2nd, once the nausea had passed I was raring to go, now I'm grouchy and shout at anything. Not good. I'm not hoping for miracles but the Dr advised it would mean less hormones are in my body as they don't have to travel so far.
I can't really add more except Mr said he felt it when we first had sex after the fitting. I explained he may have felt the threads, and they take a few days to soften. My libido seems to be making a return, though nothing to shout home about. I think the hormones may be clashing inside. I'm a stickler for taking things when I am told so I will take this last pill later but I won't miss feeling like an android taking it at same time every day. Oh well bottoms up and I'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Congrats SEB

just read a comment on a news website re the news Sophie Ellis Bexter having another boy (her third) & said comment stated 'Congratulations, but three boys. You gotta feel for her poor love. Fingers crossed for a girl next time' - wtf do people find it necessary to say that??? I got this when we found out about our 2nd being a girl...I wasn't disappointed than and I'm definitely not now!

This is SEB 1st full-term pregnancy too, she had her first 2 8 & 9 weeks early, so I should imagine she's over the moon, whether said baby would've been male, female, pink, orange or blue...

My goodness some people really need to think before they say anything. Maybe I should follow suit but it really does make my blood boil!

Friday, 20 April 2012

Mirena Coil

So since the Mr. and I have decided not to have any more babies for a long while, I wanted something contraception wise that would be long-term and so opted for the Mirena Coil.
I made the mistake of reading about others experiences with it once fitted and almost backed out, alas it is in place and so far the worst I have experienced are period-type pains I would normally get on the first day of a period anyway.
It is a last contraception try for me, am sick of hormones raging round my body and the last pill I took (the mini-pill that you take same time everyday, no break) made me moody, I had an increased appetite and I was tired.
I'm not hoping for miracles but at least to have some control over when I next have a baby. Both of our babes were planned though obviously their birth dates were decided on when they were conceived. We just went with pot luck.
I want some time out not to enjoy them, watch them grow into little girls and decide if we want to try for another. Right now I am in a mixed mind as to whether I even want another one. I love babies but I would like a career and am almost convinced midwifery is the way forward. This is another reason I wanted long-term contraception; there shouldn't be any surprises, that way I could once lil' one is attending pre-school look into doing a course or what have you to start up this career. It may mean putting off the next baby or having them sooner, maybe after lil' one has started pre-school? Who knows, I do know I will look into trying for a boy. I know it's a bit sad and if we didn't have a boy it would be really disappointing (though not really), I want to at least give it a shot. 
Another reason I would like a sizeable gap is having 2 babes close together though lined with amazing good points, is hard work at times. Especially when deciding who to pick-up first when both are crying. I do get a lot of 'mothers guilt', maybe I wouldn't be human if I didn't but I just want to enjoy these two for now, especially since the next one will probably be the last. I think I can wait a lil' while to experience it all over again.

Mothers guilt

Oh my gosh! I am feeling a bit of a rubbish mother atm and it is all because bubz has developed a flat head!
Seemingly the 'professionals' will blame this on baby being left for hours on end on her back, in a bouncy chair or cot or even a car seat. I blame the fact that she sleeps through the night (heaven forbid), on her back so therefore has the back of her head resting against a firm mattress. She is never in her chair at home for long, though admittedly spends time in her car seat, though as soon as we have reached our destination I take her out, or use the pushchair part for longer journeys.
I am distressed at the realisation I could have probably done more earlier on to prevent this from developing, alas I have the ability to see the future...
My older daughter also developed the condition, again she slept through the night, however she was a colicky baby and spent most of her infant life in my arms. She is now 2 1/2 and the flat head that plagued her early months, disappeared once she started spending more time sitting or crawling.
Therefore my feelings of inadequacy are being fired by the celebrities currently bragging about how they wore their babies on their body during those early months and therefore have a stronger relationship with them. It seems the fashion is swinging to Africa where mothers wear their babies all day, co-sleep and don't have them in nappies, thus potty training them sooner.
As I am potty-training my oldest atm, I do feel as though I am undoing some of the work we are trying to instill on her by putting the youngest into nappies. When she asks about why lil' one wears them, I tell her the age-old 'Because you're a big girl, and she's a baby'.
Yet again though, I feel like I am somehow cheating her?